|
|
|
“How to Change—Or Can I?” A Biblical Framework for Change—part 2** Can people change? Chuck Colson did. He was President Nixon’s hatchet man, a go for the jugular, get the job done whatever the cost kind of man. To illustrate his cutthroat approach to handling situations Colson once said, “I would walk over my grandmother if necessary to assure the president’s reelection.” Then his life changed. James MacDonald, in his book I Really Want to Change…So, Help Me God, tells what happened:
“In the early 1970’s, Colson’s whole world came crashing down.
He pleaded guilty to obstruction of justice in the Watergate case and
served seven months at the Maxwell Federal Prison in “In the midst of that, Chuck Colson found a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. As he went into prison and began to articulate and grow in his faith, many people thought, ‘Yeah, right. Chuckie’s got religion. What a joke. It’ll never last.’ But you know what? It did. “Colson said, ‘I don’t just want to be saved. I don’t just want to be forgiven. I want to be changed.’ He has been changed and has emerged as one of the greatest Christian leaders in our world today. He is a powerful force. His life touches hundreds of thousands of men and women in prison every year through a ministry he began and leads called Prison Fellowship. He’s an author, writer, and leader who is tireless in his effort to get out the good news about Jesus. Colson has received many awards for his impact on our world. “Chuck Colson went from ruthless political hatchet man to loving selfless minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Transformed! And you can be too!”[2] You say, “Nice story, but you don’t know my situation. I’ve got this habit that’s controlled my life for years. And then there’s this anger problem, too, that’s gotten me in trouble since the first days of school. Are you saying I can change?” Absolutely. The question is, how does change occur? Yes, God does it, but how? Last week we began a study of God’s Word entitled, “How to Change—Or Can I?” As I mentioned our goal in this topical study is to find out what the Scriptures say concerning six issues related to personal change. We looked at the first two issues last week, and because of the critical and foundational nature of that material we’ll take time to review at the outset today, before then breaking new ground. Review: We began by pondering… I. The Need to Change
Why is change necessary? The Bible presents four foundational issues that establish the need for change. A.
God is Creator and wrote the Owner’s Manual. This is God’s world. Everything in it belongs to Him and exists for His purposes. I do not create my meaning for existence for the simple reason that I already have a meaning and purpose for existence, one given to me by my Creator. Colossians 1:16 For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. How does the Creator expect me to live? Thankfully, I need not wonder for the Author of Life has given us a book, His self-revelation of how created life is supposed to work. Joshua 1:8 Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. To summarize, here is what the Creator expects of us, an expectation that will be for our good and His glory. ŢBy God’s design, we are to love God first. ŢBy God’s design, we are to love others as ourselves. According to the owner’s manual, this is the essence of human life. We are here to love God first and others next. Consequently, to the extent this is not true in our lives, we need to change. And that describes our predicament… B. We are sinners and have missed the mark. Contrary to Oprah and Dr. Phil and the fundamental tenet of public education, we are not “basically good people, with a few quirks perhaps but basically good.” If we believe that we will never change for we will refuse to admit the need to change. God’s assessment is quite different from popular opinion. Romans 3:23 For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God. Simply put, perfect people don’t need to change. But everyone else does. C. Jesus Christ is the one who makes change possible. That’s what His cross is all about. 1 Peter 2:24 He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed. When Jesus went to the cross He accomplished two things that make change both possible and essential… ŢAt the cross, He took our sin. ŢAt the cross, He gave us His righteousness. Beloved, if Christ is your Savior, God has forgiven your sins and declared you to be righteous in His sight. If you are in Christ, you have the ability to change, His ability. That’s not all… D. Jesus Christ is the model for change. We should never say, “Well, I don’t know what I’m supposed to become as I’m changing. It’s subjective, isn’t it? The goal for me isn’t the same for you.” That statement may be politically correct but it isn’t biblically correct. The fact is, God’s fundamental goal IS the same the same for us, and here it is… 1 Peter 2:21 To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. This is God’s intent for us, to be like His Son—to respond like Him, to think like Him, to talk like Him. Make It Personal: In order to
change in ways that will last…
Five things must occur… 1. You must agree you need to change. Don’t assume this admission is easy to get. It’s not. Indeed, in order to admit that change is needed… 2.
You must put on biblical humility. Only the humble really change. That’s because, according to God’s Word, only the humble receive God’s help… James 4:6 “But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’” God is not interested in helping people who think they don’t need His help, nor those who have an inflated view of themselves. Proud people don’t think they need to change, or if they do, they reserve the right to determine how much change is necessary. **It is possible to want to change, NOT for the glory of God but for self-focused reasons. That’s pride, and that can be a reason that change doesn’t last. For instance, suppose a person says he wants to save his marriage. The fundamental question is why. A person could want to save his marriage for lots of reasons that are rooted in pride: for financial reasons (he knows that divorce will cost him a lot of money), to protect his image in the community (he wants people to think of him as a “good family man”), so he can be around his kids, and more. Those reasons aren’t necessarily bad, just insufficient. And what is the right motive for working at your marriage, and for seeking to change any other shortcoming in your life? It’s this… 3. You must want to be what God wants. And just what is that God wants for us? Matthew 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness… That’s God’s agenda for us, that we become people who live for His kingdom. But if you enter this world going your own way, how can you become God’s kind of person, one who is living for His kingdom agenda? There’s only one way… 4.
You must know Christ. Only those who know Christ have the ability to change as God intends. The Lord Himself put it this way… John 15:4 Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. There’s something else you must grasp if you’re going to change… 5. You must realize that change is a process. A life-long process. We do not outgrow the need to change this side of heaven. You say, “How does this process work?” We’ll find out shortly, but first let’s review some common unbiblical notions people hold that short-circuit the change process. II. Some Faulty Views about How
We Change
If I believe false notions about change, I won’t change. Here are three examples… The “Holy Zap” viewThis approach agrees that God is the solution to change, but suggests that change occurs instantaneously, the moment God zaps you. **Walk an aisle, pray a prayer, get the Spirit…and you’ll change. If you still struggle with something it’s because you didn’t get the zap—or the zap wore off. The solution? Go forward again, pray harder, and then you’ll change. The “Let go and let God” view**This view says it’s all up to God. If you really want to kick some habit, you need to turn it over to God and get out of the way. Let go and God will take over. Then you’ll change. Without a doubt we need to submit ourselves to God, however the problem with this view is that it leaves out the rest of the story. Change begins “by letting go and letting God,” but it doesn’t end there. We’re also commanded to “work out your salvation…” and “Put off the old man and put on the new man,” passages that again emphasize that change involves a process in which we have ongoing responsibility. The “Pull up your bootstraps” view
Contrary to the “Let go and let God” approach… **This view says it’s all up to me. This is the view that permeates our culture. You’ll hear it on the self-help talk shows. You’ll read it in the pop psychology best sellers. “If you’re going to kick that habit, you must believe in yourself. Show some self-respect. You’ve got what it takes within yourself, now make it happen. YOU can do it.” What’s wrong with this view? Yes, I have responsibility when it comes to change. Yes, I must do something if I am going to change. But no, I cannot change in my strength. I need Christ. Now that we’ve established the necessity of change and have identified some faulty notions that will hinder true God honoring change, let’s break some new ground. III. The Process of Change:
Ephesians 4:17-5:21
Change is like a walk, not an event. It’s not a zap, but a path you tread. No text explains the process of change more clearly than Ephesians 4-5. There we learn that in order to change you must walk down a road and take the following seven steps. Step #1: You must know Christ (20). Ephesians 4:20 You, however, did not come to know Christ that way. The “you” here refers to the
Christians living in Ephesians 1:1
Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, To the saints in Notice two things about these
readers. They were saints—literally
“holy ones, those set apart to God” in Don’t miss the obvious here. These people knew Christ. In order to change, you too must know Him. What’s more, these people knew Christ but they needed to change. Coming to know Christ isn’t the end, just the beginning! Let me raise again a question we chewed on last week. Can a person who doesn’t know Christ change? The answer is yes (small ‘y’) and NO (capital ‘N’). You say, “How can it be both?” Let me illustrate. Picture an expensive house located on a river’s edge. It’s raining. In fact, it’s rained hard for several days and the river is crashing over its banks and washing away the very foundation of the home. The house begins to shake and shift and jerk until it moves from its stable footers and is hanging by the proverbial thread on the cliff, on the verge of crashing into the raging torrent below. Due to the turbulence, the dining room furniture slides across the room, some chairs upend, several pictures fall off the walls, and rainwater starts dripping from the now leaky roof. Now suppose there was a family in that house. Suppose the family was oblivious to the fact that their house was facing imminent destruction. Now suppose the housewife walked into the dining room and said, “Oh, no! What a mess!” and instantly went to work, picking up the chairs, re-hanging the pictures, and scrubbing the soot stained floors. After hours of work she had the dining room looking fine again. Answer this. Did she fix the problem? Did she change anything? The answer is yes and NO, right? Let me reiterate a statement we made last time… **Apart from knowing Christ a person cannot change in a way that pleases God. Oh, they can “rearrange the furniture,” but the house is still facing inevitable destruction in the river below. Consider an angry man whose temper is destroying his life. Can he change apart from Christ? Many try. But let’s just suppose this fellow does. Let’s suppose he takes some anger management course and puts his temper in check, but does so without turning to Christ. Here’s the question. Has he fixed his fundamental problem? He was once an angry man living without Christ in the world. Now he’s a level-headed man living without Christ in the world. What hasn’t changed? He’s still a man without Christ, a sinner who has fallen short of God’s standard and consequently is still heading for destruction. I have a relative who used to smoke. He’s not a Christian. The day came when he realized his habit was hurting his family, not to mention his health. So he quit cold turkey. He didn’t ask the Lord for help. He just quit. A wise choice. It was good for the family and good for his health. Yes, he changed. But did he really change. Did the fundamental orientation of his life change? Is God more pleased with a smoking sinner who rejects Christ or a smokeless one? The Bible says that both have fallen short of His standard, and because both are living in God’s world but not seeking first His kingdom, both are still in need of true change. Indeed, the “smokeless” sinner’s condition may even be more precarious. Why is that? It’s because he’s inclined to think he DOESN’T NEED Christ. After all, he kicked his habit all on his own effort, and now he reasons, “I don’t need the Lord, not like weak people. Look what I did with my life! I’m a good person. Surely God is pleased with me.” To repeat the words of Thomas Watson again, this kind of person tries to “ungod God.” According to God’s Word in order to change in a way that pleases God you must know and depend upon Christ. Step #1, in order to change you must know Christ. Not just about Him, but know Him personally. Step #2: You must be growing in your knowledge of the truth (21). Ephesians 4:21 Surely you heard of him and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. Notice the emphasis on Christ again.
You “heard of him.” You
were “taught in him.” Paul
should know. He did the teaching.
He spent over two years teaching daily in The word translated “taught” is the Greek term didasko, which carries the idea of instructing in doctrine, even catechizing. If we’re going to grow that’s what we need, to be taught. Think about it. To grow in your knowledge of Jesus you must grow in your knowledge of the truth about Jesus, and that requires that you place yourself in situations where you are being taught the Word of God that reveals Jesus. Last week I told you about my experience with hooking up to DSL. DSL works through a modem which the company sent me. When I hooked up the new modem to my computer it didn’t function well at first. In fact, it didn’t function at all until the computer and the modem began to communicate with each other. They began to exchange some data so they “understood” each other and could then begin working together to make an internet connection possible. There had to be this exchange of information. So it is when a person is added to the Body of Christ. That person needs information. That person needs to know how the Head thinks. That person needs to know how the Head intends for him to function in the Body. That person has the potential for hew life and is beginning to experience that new life, but he really doesn’t even know what that new life will be like. And he won’t know until he learns. And he won’t learn until he is taught. Brothers and sisters, if you do what comes naturally (what you feel like doing), you’re in trouble because what comes naturally from a sinner is sin. In order to change we must obeying the Head, Jesus Christ. But in order to obey the Head, we must know the truth about the Head, and that requires that we be taught His Word. I must share a burden with you. As a pastor I see people that I care deeply about who are floundering, and that weighs on my soul. And what burdens me most is that they need not keep floundering. They could change if they would just take advantage of the teaching opportunities to learn God’s life-changing Word. Yes, if they would simply come to church consistently they would learn truth about Jesus that would enable them to change. Their marriages would start singing. They’d start experiencing peace in place of their anxiety torn hearts. They’d begin to conquer sinful habits that long have enslaved them. They could change…if only they would make learning the truth about Jesus their #1 priority. I feel like a doctor who sees a sick patient, who makes a diagnosis and knows he can help the patient. So he prescribes the treatment he’s absolutely sure will help, but watches the patient ignore the treatment. He doesn’t really want to change, not that badly, so he keeps on experiencing pain, needlessly so. Beloved, if you want to change, if you want to experience the life God intends for you, you can! But you must be growing in your knowledge of the truth. You cannot dabble in the Word, but must devour it. You cannot consistently miss the teaching of God’s Word at church without it stunting your spiritual growth and stamina. To change you need to know Christ. Secondly, you need to be growing in your knowledge of the truth which is found in God’s practical Word. Step #3:
You must “put off” the thinking and lifestyle of the old man (22). In verse 22 Paul reminds the Ephesian Christians of the discipleship course he utilized with them. Ephesians 4:22 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; We tend to have a very narrow view of discipleship. We take a brand new Christian, take him through a 10-week course that teaches him about how to read the Bible, prayer, baptism, witnessing, etc, and then conclude, “There. We’ve discipled that brother. Now he’ll grow and mature in Christ.” That’s not the approach Paul took. Oh, it’s not that what I’ve described is bad, just insufficient. What did Paul say he included in his discipleship curriculum? He says he taught the Ephesians some “practical theology,” that is, he taught them how to get rid of habits, attitudes, lifestyle practices that characterized their former life. You see, these folks used to live for money, for sex, for job advancement. They used to tell white lies to manipulate situations at work, steal from their bosses, lose their temper with their spouses and kids, and violate God’s law in lots of other ways. Then Christ entered their lives. Did all these things change instantly? No. The potential for change was there, but change is a process. And part of the process included Paul teaching them that change was necessary. Isn’t that meddling? No, meddling is when you stick your nose into other people’s lives for personal reasons. Helping folks become God’s kind of people isn’t meddling. It’s discipling. It’s what Paul did. And it’s essential if people are going to change. Someone needs to talk with them in clear, practical terms about, first of all, what needs to go. Paul says he taught them to “put off” their former way of thinking and living. The verb means “to get rid of, to put away.” It was used of clothing. When I was a counselor at Scioto Hills (years ago), one of the biggest attractions was the mud pit. The campers and counselors would get in that pit of mud and wallow around until their clothes were thoroughly saturated with a color and smell that made then good only for one thing, to be stripped off and discarded. You didn’t take those clothes home, scrub them, and then wear them to church. You got rid of them. That’s the word Paul uses here. If you going to change you must choose to get rid of some things, the things that characterized our pre-Christ days. This included certain behaviors but also various desires that produced those behaviors. It all had to go, and in order for it to go some tough decisions had to be made. And Paul says he helped the Ephesians make those decisions. “Can you be more specific?” you say. “What kinds of things must we get rid of?” Good question. In a moment we’ll see the list of things Paul addressed, from 4:25 to 5:21. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. There’s no need to talk about specifics if there’s not first a willingness. If you are going to change you must be willing to change, and you must be willing to take specific steps, hard steps, agonizing steps, unpopular steps to get rid of everything that displeases your Master and Savior. Change requires that you put off the thinking and lifestyle of the old man. Step #4: You must “put on” the thinking and lifestyle of the new man (24). Ephesians 4:24 …and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. This verb also contains a clothing metaphor. To “put on” means “to clothe or dress oneself.” After a camper exited the mudpit, he typically washed off in the lake and then went back to his cabin and stripped down. He put off his old attire. But wasn’t finished changing yet. The change process wasn’t complete until the camper put on some clean clothes. It’s not enough merely to get rid of the old, as important as that step is. In order to change you must “put on” something. And what is it? Paul says we must put on “the new self” (KJV ‘the new man’). What’s the new self? It’s our new identity. It’s who we are in Christ. When God saved me, he saved me from something (my old ways) but also to something (to be like Him, one who righteous and holy). Simply put, to put on the new man is to choose to be like Christ. You say, “What does that look like in specifics?” Again, we’ll find out shortly, but there’s no need to talk in specifics until we nail down something first. There must first be a willingness. Are you willing to become like Christ? Do you want to resemble Christ? If so, it will cost you. Remember what the world did with Christ? They hated Him and ultimately crucified Him, and the world will treat you no differently. The hymnwriter aptly asks, “Is this vile world a friend to grace to help me on to God?” The answer is no. To be like Christ is to choose to tread a narrow path, an unpopular path, a path marked by ridicule and persecution. Oh, it’s the best path, indeed the only path that leads to heaven. And without question it will be worth it all when we see Jesus, but until then you will walk a path full of suffering. And it’s not just the world that will afflict you. You will battle the evil one and his hosts, not to mention your own deceitful desires that war against your soul. Again I ask you. Are you willing to change? Are you willing not only to put off the old man but to put on the new man? If so, you’re ready for the next step… Step #5: You must be renewing your mind (23, also 17-19). You’ll notice we skipped over verse 23. Verse 23 is the bridge that connects the command to “put off” in verse 22 with the command to “put on” in verse 24. If you’re going to “put off the old” and “put on the new,” here’s where the battle really lies, in your mind. Ephesians 4:23 …to be made new in the attitude of your minds; In order to change your behavior you must first change your thinking. The verb Paul uses carries the idea of renovation. My grandfather used to buy old houses and renovate them. He’d gut them, getting rid of the moldy drywall, tarnished light fixtures, and so on, and then replace it something new. That’s what needs to happen to our minds. In order to change you must renovate your way of thinking, you must be renewing your mind. How long does this renovation process take? Your whole life! Remember, change is a process! Beloved, we used to think about life differently than we should now. That’s what Paul emphasized a few verses earlier… Ephesians 4:17-19 So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more. Yes, the world has a different mindset than God does. It looks at money differently than God does. It looks at job advancements differently. It looks at everything differently. So if we’re going to change we must work hard at changing the main computer that runs our body, our brains. I can almost hear the request again, “Give me specifics! I need specifics!” Okay, now we’re ready for specifics and that’s what Paul gives us next. Step #6:
You must take specific steps to replace the old with the new (4:25-5:7). Verse 25 begins with the word “therefore.” You can’t take step #6 until you’ve taken steps #1-5, but having taken steps #1-5 you can’t stop there. True change requires that we roll up our sleeves and deal with specifics! I’ve made a chart of some of the specifics Paul addressed from Ephesians 4:25 through 5:21. He identifies something specific that we must put off and then something specific that we must put on in its place.
First, Paul says that each of us (I can’t do it for you, nor you for me, but we must all do this) must put off falsehood (25). For many, our preChristian days were full of deception. Lying was a way of life and we got pretty good at it. But now it must go, every trace of it. We must strip it off like those filthy rags that came out of the mudpit. But that’s only half the solution. Now we must learn to speak truthfully, all the time, no exceptions. Easy to do? No. Essential? Absolutely. According to verse 26, lingering anger must also go. “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,” God’s Word says. What’s the solution for lingering anger? Choosing to resolve problems today and to do it God’s way. “What’s wrong, honey?” Sally asks her husband, Bill. “Nothing!” he grunts. “And I don’t want to talk about it either,” he adds. Is Bill speaking the truth with his wife? Apparently not. Will it be hard for him to do so? Probably, but to fail to do so is to put on those rags from the mudpit again, whereas to speak the truth in love (i.e. to talk about what’s bugging him in a Christ-like way) is a choice to put on the new man. And that’s something he has the power to do if he knows Christ. The key word in the change process is replace. In order for change to be complete you must replace the sinful behavior with the appropriate Christlike virtue. Some of us struggle with being takers. That’s what we used to be before Christ got a hold of us (we were sponges and maybe it’s what we still tend to be. If so, we need to change. Paul gives one example in verse 28, “He who has been stealing must steal no longer.” A thief says, “If you’ve got something I want, I’ve got a right to take it and I will.” No more! But what must the so called kleptomaniac do to change? Just stop stealing? No, as Jay Adams puts it, “Then he’s just a thief between jobs.” True change requires that we put off AND then put on something. What in this case? Paul said he needs to get a job, start using his hands for useful purposes, make some money to provide for his own needs, and then share with someone else in need. Once he’s put on all that he’s no longer a thief. Indeed, he’s no longer a taker but a giver. He has truly changed. If you want to change you must get serious about the process. You must put off and put on. --You must put off words that tear down and ask the Lord to help you put on words that build others up (29). --You must put off reactions that grief the Holy Spirit and put on Christlike actions, like being kind, compassionate, and forgiving those who wrong you, just like God did with you. --You must put off every hint of sexual sin (including thinking about it in ways that feed your lust for it; Paul says even joking about it must go). In place of sexual sin we must put on thanksgiving, that is, being thankful to God for the spouse He has given us, or will one day give us if we are not married, or for the gift of singleness should it not be His will for us to marry. When I’m putting on thankfulness I’m free from the bondage of sexual sin. Do you want to change? Then you must take specific steps to replace the old with the new. “But I’m weak,” you say. “I can’t do it.” Talk about someone with a past to overcome. I have a man in mind who, prior to becoming a Christian, used to hate Christians. In fact, it was his job to hunt down Christians and put them in jail. Some actually were executed because of his actions. He was also a violent man, one that you didn’t want to cross. Then Christ entered his life. And Christ began the process of changing him. Did it work? Yes, it did. The man I’m describing is the man who wrote the letter we’ve been studying. Paul didn’t just talk about change. He experienced it in his own life. Beloved, you can change and so can I, not because we’re strong but because there is One who is. There’s one more step that Paul addresses. It has to do with the question, how long? How long will the process of change take? We find the answer in 5:8-21. Step #7: You must realize the battle doesn’t end until we see the Lord (5:8-21). What do the following commands have in common? Verse 8—“Live as children of light.” Verse 10—“Find out what pleases the Lord.” Verse 15—“Be very careful how you live.” Verse 18—“Do not get drunk on wine…but be filled with the Spirit.” Those commands make it clear that the process of change isn’t over yet, and it won’t be over until we see Christ. Maybe you haven’t been doing so well in the battle. Today’s a new day. Today it’s time to start moving down the path of change by the help of Christ and for the glory of God. **Note:
This is an unedited manuscript of a message preached at [2] James MacDonald, pp. 25-26. |